"When you answer, do they immediately turn it into talking about themselves, or can they stay on you for any time at all?" he says. To determine if your person of interest is relational or self-centered, note if they inquire about you at all, recommends Henry Cloud, PhD, coauthor of Boundaries in Dating. Pay attention to how they respond to you. Is there anyone who inspired you to pursue your career?.When did you know it was what you wanted to do?.How did you decide to go into your line of work?."In this example, you're looking for more information about their background and line of thinking, rather than just a description of their job," says Greer. Getting your date to elaborate will reveal more about their personality and interests. Greer suggests trying the following: “How did you decide to go into this line of work? When did you know this was what you wanted to do?” Another way to approach this topic: “Is there anyone who inspired you to pursue your career or stick it out, though you may have faced challenges? If so, what's the story there?” Instead of asking the typical “What do you do?” frame the query in an open-ended way. "A first date is all about showing interest," says Jane Greer, PhD, a marriage and family therapist and author of What About Me?: Stop Selfishness From Ruining Your Relationship. What are some of your favorite spots around here?ĭon’t ask them what they do for a living.Do you spend a lot of time in this neighborhood?."You could then quickly segue into a broader conversation about the area, food, travel, or another topic, based upon the cues you pick up initially," she adds. For starters, you could ask them if they've ever been to the coffee shop, park, or wherever they proposed to meet, or if they spend significant time in that neighborhood, says Carbino. If you're not sure how to jump into a conversation, comment about something in your environment. 5 Helpful Online Dating Tips to Live By.How to *Actually* Enjoy Date Night Again.How long have you known our mutual friend?.Tell me more about some of the interests you have listed.
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